Not My America!

A fair warning… I am about to give my option of America… as an educated Black Woman… if you cannot stomach some strong, blunt, hard truth… my truth, you might want to skip this one!

As I am sitting here typing, I was working on a post about how it seems that common decency is gone. Though I plan to get back to that, I had to get out this elephant I feel growing in my room, this need to share how unpatriotic I feel to be an American citizen. I really feel just disheartened about how our country and my world seems to be just gloomier lately. The news is filled with all the outlandish things our government is doing, all the killings of my black men, and just the indifference and intolerance we are seeing towards anyone who doesn’t fit into that white bread, apple pie and baseball loving American.

The crazy part is, this isn’t new for the US. From the very beginning our history in North America, the US has been money hungry and intolerant of anyone not a white Christian male. This is our history, well mine because I was born here, but I choose not to take claim to all the greed and malice of the European settlers who have colonized the Americas. They were honestly opportunist and hypocrites, claiming to come to the “New World” looking for acceptance, but shunning and destroying anything that didn’t look or think like them. They just about killed off an entire race of people and stole their land, calling it manifest destiny… seriously a load of shit if you ask me! I call a spade a spade. Our nation is rooting in killings and stealing!

Then we move up to slavery, were my people come in to play. They stole or bought my ancestors, forcing them to make a cross ocean voyage that left many dead, and the survivors to be used as property. They, raped, beat and mutilated, worked, and breed my people. We were property, not people, to be used however the master felt. The kicker in all of this; during this time is when the US was fighting for its independence, claiming that it was a nation promising liberty and justice for all…*cough, cough*… but not if you are a woman or a nigger. Even after the Civil War and the North won, America had a chance to be better, but we didn’t. We still had many years of hatred, murders, lynching, segregation, Jim Crown laws, marches, MLK, Malcom X, JFK before we as African-Americans can begin to be real US citizens.

Let us not forget the Trail of Tears… screwing over Native American again… Japanese interment camps, woman’s suffrage, and all the other shitty things we have done. From years of history classes and a serious love of documentaries, I can go on and on… and on!

Please do not misunderstand me, from a bunch of colonies, we have come LONG way! I am thankful to be born in the era where I have more opportunities as a black woman than any time in history,  but that is not to say that I am blind to our dirty laundry.

The first presidential election that I was old enough to vote in was Obama’s first term. I had so much hope! I thought finally… there will be some change! Maybe all the warnings my dad gave me about the white man was going to be a thing of the past. And Obama did that, for what he could get done, life felt like it was getting better… for everyone! Maybe we were turning into a new era, where race did not matter as much, income wasn’t a huge factor to your value as a person, and playing field was finally leveling out… some.

Then last year, Trump was elected. It suddenly become ok to be filled with bigotry and hatred, spewing ugliness towards everyone! All the things my dad tried to educate me to, hit me dead in my face! We had come full circle! This time it’s the Muslims and Latino immigrants who are the people public interest. Blacks are still facing the racist systematic incarnation and under-education. The Republican are attacking the poor, elderly, and working class. They want to get rid of the EPA and deregulate/defund our children’s education and healthcare. The LBGTQ community is worried about loosing their rights… hell they can’t even go to the bathroom without everyone making a fuss! All the great progress we had over the last 8 years, just seems to be under attack!

I hate to be so pessimistic, but one thing history has taught me, it repeats itself. I am no longer surprised at the current events. I am just hurt and honestly, harden by it. I had hope that my generation and the ones a few years older than me would be different. I had hoped that we saw the errors of our parents and strived to be better. I had hoped living in a time where information is at our fingertips, we could choose to educate ourself on issues, and hopefully be more sympathetic to our fellow American. Hell, even just think of the greater good, not just our personal gain! But we didn’t! Now we are forced to endure 4 years of just complete fuckery!

So this is not my America, this is their America, the one that has been crapping on people its entire existence! My America was going in the right direction for the past 8 years, but went into hiding the night of Nov 8, 2016. I just hope and pray, for the sake my future children, my America comes back!


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