I think I may be spending too much time with my roommate. Tony, we LOVE Tony! He has been a light in my darkness, a life raft in my ocean, the wind beneath my wings… whatever cliché you want to use. In a very short time, he has become family, rounding out my favorite people. Here’s the thing about Phil, he’s smart. Seriously, he’s one of the brightest men I have met, and his level of awareness of society and self, most of the time, surpasses my own. We have insanely deep conversations that would confuse the average person.
You would think that this kindred soul connection would be the best thing in the world. It’s awesome, but sometimes it leaves me feeling lonely. I crave our intellectual interactions, but at the end, when we part ways, I feel educated and alone. It makes me wonder if this is what genius feels like… isolated.
I feel elevated, but the higher you go, the less companionship you will have. I already feel like my dating pool is small, and as time passes it feels smaller and smaller. I want a husband that I can connect with, but I find the men I seem to attract don’t have the drive to want to know more. They want to provide and be the stereotypical man, long talks about the current status of our society and if there is a God are far from their minds. Alone… sometimes I think that I will just be alone and that unicorn of a man who I am praying for will never come. I can barely keep friends that challenge me, let alone a life partner.
So yea… it’s lonely up here! I strive to be more during a time when everyone is content in pretending to be everyone else.